Walking in This World: Week Four

This is the end of week 4 jumping in to week 5

Discovering a Sense of Adventure

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"This week you are asked to jettison some of your personal baggage. The essays and task are aimed at helping you claim a greater sense of freedom. You will be asked to consciously experiment with open-mindedness. You will dismantle many unconscious mechanisms that may have impeded your artistic expression. You will focus on self-acceptance as a route to self-expression."

To say I needed week 4 might be abit of an understatement. Julia writes "It becomes about perfection and other people's perception, not the joy of the creation, the play of ideas." This is where I have been. Stuck in this place. Paralyzed by expectation and a fear of failing. The problems I have had with my hands this year have with out a doubt put a kink in my work. Beyond that however I feel stuck especially in "The Human Form". My vision of the paintings... In how I want to paint them has morphed. I feel stuck by peoples expectations of the project. Concerned to letdown my patrons. Worried I will disappoint. Which is quite silly because I haven't really discussed painting technique with anyone and I have only posted one portrait of the 26. So what is it? That I am worried they are expecting? Something Grand! and Magnificent that I wont be able to deliver on. 

She has so many little gems in this chapter that just speak to my heart.

"Instead of resisting yourself, try finding yourself irresistible" Umm yes!

"Serious Art requires serious play" also yes!

"Anything worth doing is worth doing badly." Truth

 "When we deliberately explore and extend our creative territory, we innovate even further and even more."

While it was a seriously rocky week for all sorts of juicy reasons. It was good. Lots of work and play. I bought a sweet ass pottery wheel. So no need to slum it all the way up to Salt Lake just to throw pots! Got the Goats some decent halters so I can go back to walking them. On my way to fulfilling my dream of a goat drawn carriage. More work, Drama, drama, drama. Work, play, work, work. I've had some good artist dates the past few weeks. Physic readings, UMFA Opening, Sensuous time a the wheel. It's been a bit of a roller coater and although I am tired and still have plenty of work left to do from this week. I am feeling pretty good. This chapter this week seriously uplifted my spirits. Even despite the personal roller coaster I have been on. Leaving week 4 behind and embarking on week 5 I am calling it a win. Even though I didn't write a single morning page.

May your heart be light, your hands never idle and your mind inspired
Dawn