6 weeks now I have been delving into my deeper self. Exploring, trudging through the muck climbing a few blissful hills. All and all it has been an experience I am thankful for. There is value in time spent with and for yourself.
This week MONEY. Really it's about abundance. One of the task is to keep track of every cent and it's purpose. Simultaneously I feel bad about not spending/investing in myself/happiness as well as shamed for how I spend my money. Revelations have proceeded about my views on money. I believe (for whatever reason) that money must be rightfully earned. by which I mean toiled for. By the sweat of your brow. Something aquired through blood, sweat and tears. Who really wants to live hand to mouth in such a way? No one. Who wishes such a straining existence on another person? No sane person. Yet here I am wishing it?
I sold a piece several months ago that I have been feeling guilty for. The pricing of my work is consistent with size and medium. This piece was no different. Except it was. I did not toil. There were no late nights of anguish staring at the piece analyzing it to death. there was no pre-planning. No fore thought towards execution. It was all action and impulse. Most of all it was enjoyable. There it was the reason for my guilt and shame. Enjoyment.
Do artist take pride in the suffering? Casting themselves as an altruistic martyrfor the creative cause? This perception of money needs to end. Money is just a tool. having or not having it doesn't make you better or worse for it. It might make your life more comfortable but it won't make you any kinder to that stranger on the train.
While it's only midweek and more revelations (I am sure) are in store. The big take away this week: Make peace with my inner war on money. I will be joyful in the sell of artworks. When work equals play I will show gratitude for such a blessing. Rejoicing in the abundance I receive in return. Reveling in the pieces of me I have let go. That bring value and enjoyment to the lives of others. This week I start lovingly accepting abundance in all it's forms. Because life was meant to be abundant and joyful.